First Day of School

Today was my first day of Grad school and it started off.... slowly. I left my house at 7:15 for my 8am class. It usually takes me 30 minutes to get to campus (oh how I miss those mornings at Wheaton where I would get up at 8:50 for my 9 am class...) so I was giving my self an extra 15 minutes just to be safe. At 7:40 I was 10 minutes away from campus, cutting it a little close, but enough time to park etc. Then, it took me 40 minutes to move a mile. Once I got to the flashing lights, the cops told us all to turn around; a car crashed into a power line and cut power aka no traffic lights. I was an hour and a half late to my 3 hour class. I saved myself by calling and leaving my professor a message, but not a great way to start grad school. I was that girl.
Here is the story to prove it:
http://newtampa.patch.com/articles/bruce-b-downs-closed-near-42nd-street

My first class was Micro Theory and the more I learn about Social Work as a profession, the more I am sure it is the place for me to be. My second class was Diversity and Social Justice. I am most excited about this class, now we are talking about cultural competency and my professor seems tough but in all the right ways. It seems like the kind of class that I will try my hardest in and learn the most, especially about myself. Learning about other cultures is a constant process and I think this will really help me best serve diverse populations. Tomorrow I have 4 classes to attend and overall I have a lot of anticipation for the semester. I am in the process of applying for the Public Health Dual-Degree and I will keep you posted on that.

Tomorrow night I am hosting a "girls night" at our house. My two grad school friends are coming over, I think Justin may have agreed to even cook us dinner! It will be nice to unwind and have fun.Justin, Jim and I may head down to Sarasota (maybe even Siesta Key Erica ;) ) for some fun in the sun.

Last but not least- Justin finished his first month of poker today and it was a winning month at that. It has been great to see all of his hard work, studying, playing, evaluating game and moving up a limit play out. May there be many more.

Melanie

Avoiding the Hurricane

Morning/afternoon.

Tropical Storm/Hurricane Isaac has for all intents and purposes avoided Tampa thus far.  It's back to being  sunny and sticky outside. I think it's heading towards Louisiana next, on the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. Can't New Orleans catch a break? I hope it misses the coast entirely.

I have officially begun my homework, it is a weird process getting back into things. I have spent the last 1.5+ years working with amazing Social Workers at Big Sister and on some level their level of passion and dedication to helping people really illuminated my career path. I can't wait to be their colleagues (again... this time with a degree).

I did dye my hair the other day, and I thought before and after shots would be weird to take, which they were so I avoided taking a before.

The picture on the left is the fill in for the before, obviously it's really windy so you can't see the whole thing, but you can see the epic roots going on. The one on the right, I just took, haven't yet brushed my hair but you get the picture. What I have learned about dying hair is its all about maintenance, and the jury is still out if its really worth it to me. Being able to do it by myself for a fraction of the cost is helping though!

Justin and I are headed to the store and we are taking Nala will us for the ride to the store. Here is a preview.

Talk to you soon!

Melanie



Spoiler Alert: The Big Brother gods have heard my pleas and Dan lives to see another week!

Coke & Coasters

Last night Justin and I went to Coke & Coasters night at Busch Gardens. We saw a completely different side to the park at night. It wasn't really well lit, which was actually really cool because it felt a bit eerie and secluded. Going on a roller coaster in the dark is a bit more scary I think, but a lot of fun.

I finally worked up the courage to dye my hair, and it's not orange or yellow or gray or green so I think I did pretty good.

Tropical Storm Isaac is coming, but it hasn't hit here yet. My campus is closed tomorrow but I will be fine! No worries. My classes don't start until Thursday and the storm should be gone by then.

I've been feeling under the weather today- no pun intended, so I think I am going to lay down early.

To the Big Brother gods: Please let Dan stay!

Melanie

Like a rocket baby

Yesterday, Justin, Jim and I went to Busch Gardens. I have been going to amusement parks and riding roller-coasters for the last 10+ years so I have a lot to compare it to. Overall, I think it is a great park, it is so interesting to see the combination of zoo/rides, where at one point I was staring out at what looked like the Serengeti Desert with roller-coaster tracks in the background. The Kumba and the Montu were my favorite and had me seeing stars by the end of it.

Kumba

Montu

Justin and Jim waited-in the soak zone for the Sheikra ride (it has two incredible drops)

Check out Justin and Jim getting amped with the frequent soakzone visitors. Median age 10? Very fun.
We still have a lot more to see but since we have 2 year passes, I don't think that will be a problem.


Usually, when it comes to Nala, no news is good news. She has definitely made strides in her adjustment over the last few days. Her adjustment would not have been complete however, without marking her territory all over our new bed/bedding.

She enjoyed mounting her thrown as Justin and I dealt with the soiled linens. Currently she is curled up under the blanket as I type, it's great to know that she is feeling more comfortable here.

I realize this is stating the obvious but, I am usually clueless when it comes to beauty products, hair care etc. Today, I am going to attempt to dye my hair so wish me luck. I just loathe the salon experience and I usually end up spending 2+ hours, $100+ and not liking it. My student budget will thank me if I learn how to do it. Fingers crossed!

A hurricane is supposed to roll through here tomorrow/monday. I don't think it will disrupt my first week of classes but I'll keep you posted.

Thanks for reading,

Melanie

Tonight I'll give the floor to Eve Ensler

Dear Mr. Akin, I Want You to Imagine...

Dear Todd Akin,

I am writing to you tonight about rape. It is 2 AM and I am unable to sleep here in the Democratic Republic of Congo. I am in Bukavu at the City of Joy to serve and support and work with hundreds, thousands of women who have been raped and violated and tortured from this ceaseless war for minerals fought on their bodies.

I am in Congo but I could be writing this from anywhere in the United States, South Africa, Britain, Egypt, India, Philippines, most college campuses in America. I could be writing from any city or town or village where over half a billion women on the planet are raped in their lifetime.

Mr. Akin, your words have kept me awake.

As a rape survivor, I am reeling from your recent statement where you said you misspoke when you said that women do not get pregnant from legitimate rape, and that you were speaking "off the cuff."

Clarification. You didn't make some glib throw away remark. You made a very specific ignorant statement clearly indicating you have no awareness of what it means to be raped. And not a casual statement, but one made with the intention of legislating the experience of women who have been raped. Perhaps more terrifying: it was a window into the psyche of the GOP.

You used the expression "legitimate" rape as if to imply there were such a thing as "illegitimate" rape. Let me try to explain to you what that does to the minds, hearts and souls of the millions of women on this planet who experience rape. It is a form of re-rape. The underlying assumption of your statement is that women and their experiences are not to be trusted. That their understanding of rape must be qualified by some higher, wiser authority. It delegitimizes and undermines and belittles the horror, invasion, desecration they experienced. It makes them feel as alone and powerless as they did at the moment of rape.

When you, Paul Ryan and 225 of your fellow co-sponsors play with words around rape suggesting only "forcible" rape be treated seriously as if all rapes weren't forcible, it brings back a flood of memories of the way the rapists played with us in the act of being raped -- intimidating us, threatening us,muting us. Your playing with words like "forcible" and "legitimate" is playing with our souls which have been shattered by unwanted penises shoving into us, ripping our flesh, our vaginas, our consciousness, our confidence, our pride, our futures.

Now you want to say that you misspoke when you said that a legitimate rape couldn't get us pregnant. Did you honestly believe that rape sperm is different than love sperm, that some mysterious religious process occurs and rape sperm self-destructs due to its evilcontent? Or, were you implying that women and their bodies are somehow responsible for rejecting legitimate rape sperm, once again putting the onus on us? It would seem you were saying that getting pregnant after a rape would indicate it was not a "legitimate" rape.

Here's what I want you to do. I want you to close your eyes and imagine that you are on your bed or up against a wall or locked in a small suffocating space. Imagine being tied up there and imagine some aggressive, indifferent, insane stranger friend or relative ripping off your clothes and entering your body -- the most personal, sacred, private part of your body -- and violently, hatefully forcing themself into you so that you are ripped apart. Then imagine that stranger's sperm shooting into you and filling you and you can't get it out. It is growing something in you. Imagine you have no idea what that life will even consist of, spiritually made in hate, not knowing the mental or health background of the rapist.

Then imagine a person comes along, a person who has never had that experience of rape, and that person tells you, you have no choice but to keep that product of rape growing in you against your will and when it is born it has the face of your rapist, the face of the person who has essentially destroyed your being and you will have to look at the face every day of your life and you will be judged harshly if you cannot love that face.

I don't know if you can imagine any of this (leadership actually requires this kind of compassion), but if you are willing to go to the depth of this darkness, you will quickly understand that there is NO ONE WHO CAN MAKE THAT CHOICE to have or not have the baby, but the person carrying that baby herself.

I have spent much time with mothers who have given birth to children who are the product of rape. I have watched how tortured they are wrestling with their hate and anger, trying not to project that onto their child.

I am asking you and the GOP to get out of my body, out of my vagina, my womb, to get out of all of our bodies. These are not your decisions to make. These are not your words to define.

Why don't you spend your time ending rape rather than redefining it? Spend your energy going after those perpetrators who so easily destroy women rather than parsing out manipulative language that minimizes their destruction.

And by the way you've just given millions of women a very good reason to make sure you never get elected again, and an insanely good reason to rise.

#ReasonToRise

Eve Ensler
Bukavu, Congo

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eve-ensler/todd-akin-rape_b_1812930.html?utm_hp_ref=tw

Beach, a day late

My concept of time has been severely skewed since the move. First of all, my classes start NEXT Thursday NOT this Thursday. I do have Social Work orientation this Thursday so I knew I had to be at school for something.... bad excuse I know.

Justin and I went to the beach today in Tarpon Springs, after stumbling upon a little Greek town (great hummus/lemon potatoes). The beach on Howard Park was cool to experience. It is at the end of a causeway.

http://www.hpanj.com/i
mages/postcards/0210/img174.jpg

It was overcast and windy, Check out Justin's smoldering stare:

It was really great to get out of the house and appreciate some of our surroundings. Speaking of which, I have already looked into getting a pass to Busch Gardens. It is only $170 for two years, which is very exciting to me because they have 8 legit coasters, and the park is only 20 minutes from our house and 7 minutes from my classrooms. Justin, Jim and I should be going on Friday. I'll keep you posted on how Busch Gardens stacks up to SixFlags, Cedar Point Park, Disney, Universal Studios etc.

Todd Akin, where to begin.... Like most of you I am sure he wasn't even on your radar a few days ago... but he is now. If you haven't seen his interview, here is a minute clip below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dw6j-weI5FE

Basically, he said that in cases of "legitimate rape" a women's body shuts down so she cannot get pregnant. Since he has apologized for his statements and said that he realizes women that are raped can get pregnant but the basic idea that there are different types of rape, some more legitimate than others. 

"Not only were the remarks by Akin reprehensible and medically false, but Akin is a man who co-sponsored legislation with Paul Ryan that included definitions of life, personhood, and rape. "

http://www.policymic.com/articles/13208/how-todd-akin-and-paul-ryan-worked-closely-together-to-define-rape-in-the-us

This is an ongoing issue, and the obvious links between Akin and Ryan are concerning at best. Qualifying rape is the first step to treating rape survivors differently and puts more on the survivor to prove/justify their rape, even more of a burden than it already is.

I have some graduate assistantship work to finish but I am most looking forward to hanging out on the couch with Justin and Nala.

Melanie

Girls I do adore

Yesterday I finally sat down to watch the HBO show Girls. Even though I have been on "vacation" since July 27th, the last 2 days have been the closest I have come to feeling like it. The more I watched Girls, the more I felt like I was watching Liz Lemon post college. Then it dawned on me that that's probably because 30 Rock is one of the only shows I have ever followed that has a female writer/producer/lead actor. I appreciate watching the flawed and complex characters instead of caricatures.

I really have a hard time relating to any character individually and I think its because they are so complicated and removed from my day to day life, and I like it.

Its getting closer to go time and it's hitting me just how different grad school is going to be from undergrad. I just glanced at my syllabi and all for the first time in my life, all of my classes are geared toward one thing. Working at Big Sister for a year and a half, I think has made me even more appreciative of this opportunity because I got a very cursory taste of the field and I want more.

Here is your daily dose of Nala...

Unsure of what to do with the crumbs at the bottom of a potato chip bag? Not to worry, Nala will handle that for you. Please note the tucked-in tail (she's scared of the dark)

It appears that my procrastinating skills are kicking in so Justin and I may head to the beach today. I'll keep you posted.

Melanie

Posting, Posting 1 2 3

I'll just jump right in, I went on that job interview on Friday, and they were willing to offer me the job but at a much lower hourly rate than I was anticipating. And by much lower I mean half of what I was hoping to get. I already have such a packed schedule, that adding extra hours for such a nominal fee may be more stress than help at this point. I already have one job through my Graduate Assistantship, but I will still be looking for some supplemental income, maybe some occasional babysitting, tutoring, dog walking? I am open. 

Friday night Jim, Justin and my new Florida friend Alexis (yay!) went out to dinner/hung-out at the house. Which means, we officially had our first visitor! As much as there is a ton left to do in the house, it was great to be able to show off all that we have been able to put into it. The conversation at dinner turned a bit political (yes I am aware of proper social etiquette that declares we stay on neutral subjects). I just think politics and social issues have been in the forefront of our minds since the move. I think I can speak for Justin when I say that with the election coming up, and not living in blatantly Liberal Massachusetts anymore, we have been faced with the reality that not everyone aligns with our core values.  I realize that I have taken for granted knowing, or having a general idea of where people stand on certain social issues. On the basis of his stand on women's issues alone, I am not excited about the Paul Ryan choice or the Romney/Ryan ticket for that matter... and the Republican National Convention is coming to Tampa on the 27th. One of my frustrations is lack of consistency, citing the sanctity of life as a reason to be against abortion, but supporting the death penalty. Saying that government should be out of our business but in my uterus, etc. 

http://feministing.com/2012/08/16/infographic-why-paul-ryan-is-terrible-for-women/

While I was sitting there, wondering if my new friend wanted to run out of the room, I was comforted by the fact that even though the four of us did not agree on everything and at times anything, we were able to talk about it. I do hope that people vote in this election, even if it is to exercise a right that someone had to fight for us to have. 

Last night Justin and I watched the Hunger Games for the first time. I totally have an obsession with futuristic novels about totalitarian regimes (1984 anyone?!). I just love the social commentary. As with most situations where I have read the book and seen the movies, I always feel the book more. I did, however think that the movie was able to capture the book very well though, and I am excited to see what they do with Catching Fire.

Dope Hunger Games related jam- set to Rihanna's We Found Love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NshRkMFFads

I was thinking that I may highlight random sexist experiences, ranging from the miniscule to the monumental as they occur. I just want to be clear that I am using sexist to mean any instance in which men or women are treated differently based on their sex. Yesterday's was when Jim. Justin and I were at a Hibachi grill for dinner. I have been unofficially conducting a social experiment for the last 5+ years which is noting where the server places the check when I go out to eat with a man. The vast majority of the time, let's say 70-80% of the time for the sake of this post, the bill is placed on the man's side of the table. I'd say 27-17% in the middle and 3% on my side. Last night Jim, Justin and I were sitting in a row in that order. The server gave the check to Jim, I put a card in it and gave it back to the server. When she returned, she gave the bill back to Jim, who of course had to hand it back to me to sign. Of course I do not think that this is intentional, in fact I think it is extremely subliminal. I would love to know your findings in the field. Next time you are out with a member of the opposite sex, see where the check is dropped.

Nala Update: 

For those of you who just read this to know what Nala is up to...

I wanted to share with you a hidden camera footage of what she has been up to. 

Yes, she is sitting at an open door looking longing out the window

I can't understand it, is she hiding from potential prey so she can jut out and attack? Is she so used to being held captive that she needs to feel locked in at all times?

Today marks my last weekend before I am a graduate student... I might have to spend it relaxingly (that word totally needs to exist).

Melanie

Job Interview and Nala takes it too far

I have a job interview today for a caregiving position at a place called Senior Helpers. Basically, I would be paired with an elderly person that lives at home, and I would be responsible with helping them with daily tasks and providing them with companionship.
http://www.seniorhelpers.com/

I am still trying to piece together my semester schedule and I am not sure how the additional part time hours will affect it, but I think it will be a professionally relevant and potentially gratifying experience. After living with my disabled grandfather for several years and seeing his quality of life improve after being able to stay home and not go to a nursing home, I definitely see a need for the program, whether I get the job or not.

Side-note before I forget, my father was recently featured in Hamptons Magazine and the article is below if you want to check it out (pages 100-103). I had the pleasure of meeting the reporter as she was finishing up with the article, and I think it turned out great for my father and South Edison, the restaurant that I worked at/fell in love with in the summer of 2010.
http://hamptons-magazine.com/digital-edition

Now on to the real story of the post, Nala Bear Brown. Apparently watch what you say/put out into the universe because it just may come true.

The crime you ask? Cold blooded murder.

He/She never saw it coming.... and neither did Justin as he attempted to extract the seemingly innocent piece of paraphernalia from Nala's mouth. Disgusting.


Back to the living, our housemate Jim will be in town today, as much as Justin and I love playing house, it will be great to have Jim here and do some exploring. Jim is buying a car today, which is extra fun because I'll get to ride in it! And tonight my first USF friend is joining us for some dinner/drinks. It's pretty surreal to be making friends already, and I am excited to have someone to share in the Graduate Assistant/Graduate school experience with me, the fact that I think we will really get along is an added bonus.

I have to give a shout out to Justin, he started playing cards full time a little over a week ago and he has been very level headed and consistent. It is so inspiring to see someone taking a shot at something they really want to do at life, even if its risky or unpredictable. Obviously his career path will be determined either way, but he'll never have to wonder what if, or say, if I could go back I would try that. I find myself not knowing how to approach conversations about what Justin does for a living, not because I am uneasy, because I am totally not, I have just had the conversation a few times now, and some people are really critical/judgmental. To that I say a few things, not only am I to support the person I am with as they follow their dreams and of course we have had realistic financial conversations about it,  but also, there are plenty of other risky jobs that are revered or respected, or at least tolerated as an acceptable career choice (like stock trading or acting or singing). I just doubt I would get the same reaction if I said that my boyfriend is an actor or currency trader.  I get the gambling connotations, and yes there is a good amount of luck, but the house never wins, and skill matters, a lot.  Don't worry, I am stepping off of my soapbox now.

I just wanted to thank those of you who are reading this and to credit Emma for the Nala inmate picture, no way I could have done that on my own!

Melanie


P.S. happy friday, I am signing off with the sounds of Nala screeching softly in the background. Since dogs have impeccable hearing, I wonder how she can stand it.

And so it begins....

So I have been going back and forth about writing a blog for some time now. I am not one to Tweet (originally I wrote that I was not one to Twitter... as you can see I am a bit out of my element) or even Facebook, but I like staying connected.... so here I am being moderately self-indulgent but hopefully a bit entertaining. I moved to Tampa, Florida (Wesley Chapel to be exact) a little over a week ago and it has definitely been an adjustment. Justin, Nala and I have begun to set-up shop in our home. 

 Excuse the dreary weather, we are experiencing the typical afternoon shower. I'm glad you also spotted our tinted Camry in the driveway.

I am not sure if Nala is having a hard time adjusting to the new house/space or if we are having a hard time adjusting to the way Nala is adjusting to the new house/space.
Now our exchanges look like this:
Nala sits at our sliding glass door, gazing out at the lanai, (yes a lanai). After about 1-3 minutes she starts to cry so I let her out (her crying ranges from endearing whimpers to blood curtaining screeches). About 3 minutes later she is sitting on the other side of the door crying to be let in. And the vicious cycle continues. Yesterday marked an unprecedented 30 second turn over, from crying to be let out to crying to be let in. We have since adopted a bit of the Ferber method and keep her outside crying until she realizes that she has a huge fenced-in-yard filled with unsuspecting critters. This has helped a bit.

This is the calmest I have seen her thus far, had to capture the serenity.

Speaking of critters, our backyard backs up to a nature preserve of some sort, filled with birds and what I can only describe to be pterodactyls. The baby frogs and geckos are pretty cute as well, Nala keeps trying to eat them, I just hope I never have to see her catch one...

The view from the Master Bathroom of the backyard and Jurassic Park. Note the few crane looking white birds

I am about the start my Master's Degree in Social Work from the University of South Florida and I am in the process of applying for a Master's in Public Health. The Dual-Degree will be completed in 3 years, so until then, I will be a student again. I am very excited about being able to contribute to an intellectual environment again. I was chosen to be a Graduate Assistant and I have already started working with two professors. For one, I am researching the development of Diabetes in people taking anti-psychotic medications. Something I would never think to do on my own, but highlights some interesting intersections.

My Social Work field placement will be at The Centre in the Project Recovery program, working with women with substance abuse/mental health issues. http://www.thecentre.org/services/substance-abuse-treatment
It's an outpatient program and I will be there for 2 years. I am excited to jump into more clinical work and see a variety of Social Work practices play out in the day-to-day, particularly individual and group therapies.

In the future, this blog won't be a summary of my life, more up to date stuff thats going on, videos I find to be inspiring and topics I have on my mind, think social commentary meets tv/movies analysis meets life updates- something for everyone. Feel free to comment, or view when you can.

More to come!

Melanie